her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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