Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
