First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
