Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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