ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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