so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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