So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
time to smoke my breakfast
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
