Dual....:-)
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
