I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
