Did you just see the Batmobile???
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
