I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
