it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
