They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
