It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize