The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
