You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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