the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
