We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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