how can u be prego again
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
