I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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