i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
