Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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