you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
