think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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