I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
another moral hangover. fuck.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
