And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
