We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
