She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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