when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
