If that was your dad, he is hot
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
