They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
