He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
