i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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