i'm signing you up for texting rehab
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
