Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
