Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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