just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
