If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
