yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
