Betty ford says i'm here all night
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
