There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
