The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
