Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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