Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
