Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
