just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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