I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
