I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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