we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
