wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
The Olympian is in my bed
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
