It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
