I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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