Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
