Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize