No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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