i don't like sucking hair
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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