Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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