I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
