I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
