jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize